I would say that overall I am a pretty anxious person.
I am always worrying and definitely have some OCD qualities. I believe this carries into my running and my fear of injuries. Since I am constantly dealing with some sort of issue, I freak out any time something starts to bother me even a little bit. There are extremes of people who ignore pain and will run on a stress fracture…and then there is the other end of the extreme of people like me who are convinced their running career is over because of a small twinge. To better show how this process typically goes down in my head, I thought I would share some of my thoughts that I put together earlier this week. (Note: I had originally titled this “Thoughts of a Possibly-Injured Runner” because at the time I was convinced I was injured. I changed it because as I reread it I realized the post will be more about my anxiety than injury)
THOUGHTS OF AN ANXIOUS RUNNER
As I am typing this post I’m not sure if I have intentions of posting it. If you are reading it, that means I decided it was worth sharing. It’s Monday afternoon, and as you may have been able to guess from the title of this post, I’m possibly injured.“What in the world does that even mean?” you may be thinking. Well I am about to take you into a really scary place…the inside of the head of a runner who is suddenly faced with the possibility of an injury.
This morning I went on my Garmin-free 5 mile run, and everything was fine. Over the weekend in Maine I had noticed my left hamstring was getting annoyed about all the hills. I didn’t really blame it- they were rough. But it wasn’t really hurting and I foam rolled after my run and things were fine. I took a rest day Sunday and went for a walk. Everything was still fine. At the end of today’s run I noticed it a little but I wouldn’t call it painful or problematic.
Stupid hills…..
After my run today I did my usual cool down routine and foam rolled, focusing a little more on that pesky spot as well as the whole hip/glute area around it. I started to notice that the top of my hamstring was bothering me a little more…which was unusual post- run. I used ice for a few minutes just to be safe.
As the day went on that little spot where my hamstring and butt intersect (I’m sure you have a nice visual now) got increasingly angry. Kind of a burning feeling but really annoying and I would go so far as to say slightly painful. It takes alot for me to call something painful. I have a pretty high tolerance for pain and don’t usually complain about aches and pain post run.
So I called my chiro and he can see me this afternoon so I’m just waiting for that appointment and hope for some answers. Of course I have heard terrible stories about hamstring problems especially “high hamstring tendonitis” (don’t google it if you have this type of pain, its super depressing). I am trying to stay positive because somehow my chiro always has a simple answer or some magic trick that makes me feel a million times better. He has also never told me to not run…if he says that today we will know it’s bad.
My emotions have been all over the place today and I think I have gone through all thee typical stages of an injury in the past 4 hours. From anger to regret to frustration to guilt to sadness to denial to confusion and back to anger. I haven’t quite made it to acceptance yet. We don’t need to get there just yet.
I am envisioning weeks or months out of running and cancelling my fall marathon plans. Yup all of these thoughts and I don’t even know if I’m injured. I guess the best case is I just tweaked something small and I’m being dramatic and some ART will fix me all up. Wishful thinking.
I am already thinking about what I did wrong…and besides the hills (which are probably partly to blame) I was also living a very different lifestyle this weekend. I barely touched a vegetable, didn’t drink enough water, had alcohol every day, and ate foods I haven’t eaten in months. If this isn’t scientific proof of the benefits of clean eating I don’t know what is.
Well I hope you enjoyed that little glimpse inside the mind of a possibly injured runner…and I will hopefully continue this post in a few hours with some more info.
Ok so fast forward to Monday evening.
I went to my chiro and while he asked me a bunch of questions that I felt like I gave terrible answers for (“Is it sharp?” “uh, I don’t know, a little, not really”) he did some ART and graston and I asked him what he was working on and he said ischial tuberosity…the place where the hamstrings connect. When he was done it felt better but not 100% and we talked a little more. Of course I asked “is there anything I shouldn’t do?” (please don’t say don’t run, please don’t say don’t run…) and he just said “nah there’s nothing you shouldn’t do. Just keep foam rolling and do some dynamic stretches to help it open up”. OK. I can handle that.
If the pain was a 6 before the appointment, it was a 3-4 when I left. Later that night I didn’t even notice it anymore. It was maybe a 2. I woke up Tuesday and it felt completely fine. During my run I noticed it in the first mile—it was maybe a 1. And felt fine during the rest of the run and after (so far).
I think I had a pretty good run on Tuesday (my Garmin and I were fighting). I felt like I was going at a difficult pace but held it for 4 miles, along with a mile warm up and mile cool down. I go back to see my chiro Wednesday afternoon, so if anything flares up again hopefully he can work on it right away.
It also got me thinking more about Amanda’s post about mental versus physical pain. How much of what I deal with is due to my brain, rather than my body? Am I making my muscles worse by stressing over all of this? There were a few books recommended at the end of the post which I am planning to check out. Running helps relieve stress but then in a way also causes all this stress…but without running I would be 1000x more stressed anyway! This is definitely something I need to work on.
Thanks for sticking around during that very terrifying journey. If you made it this far, Congrats!
Can you relate to this stuff at all?
Do you feel like you ignore pain or freak out about every little twinge?
I am more the type to ignore – but I’m actually just as anxious, it’s just expressed as denial at first. So I’ll say that I need a rest day and I’ll feel better. If it’s not better after that I’ll say I need new shoes. Or cut back on hills, or eat more of something. I will say I have zero pain when I really have a little bit. I’m still anxious but don’t want to face it! And the google thing is killer!
Haha oh the bargaining! I have definitely done that- “just let me get through this one long run and then I’ll take it easy and rest!” I need to work on having realistic anxiety while also being smart and listening to my body.
I’m a worrier too. My mind always tends to go to the worst case scenario. In reality, whatever I’m worried about usually isn’t that bad. It’s just my anxiety getting away from me.
I hate that feeling! And when I say out loud what I’m worried about it always sounds silly.
I totally relate to the anxiety. Good for you for getting right to a chiro, though. I tend to just assume things will be fine…which usually means I run until something does actually become an injury. That’s been something I’ve had to work A LOT on – being honest with myself and my body, and also incorporating more things that prevent injury, rather than just dealing with it when it happens. But potential injuries are scary! I need running for my sanity, so it’s terrifying when there’s a possibility that it won’t be an option.
I think its so good to be able to have someone on-call who you can go to (who knows your history) as soon as something pops up. Luckily this chiro can usually see my pretty quickly and I’m hoping that getting in ASAP when something feels off will prevent any real injuries!
I have become a worrier. I don’t think that you can have as many injuries as I have had this winter without becoming one. A huge part of it comes from just not trusting my body, but it has earned this lack of trust.
So I just get Alex to massage the crap out of me every night.
I truly truly hope that it is nothing, just a little inflammation. I don’t want you to have to cancel any fall plans either!
I agree that the more injuries you deal with the more likely you are to fear them. I have felt like for me its always one thing after another…to the point where Im like what is wrong with my body? I need to get Rob to start giving me messages every night! (ha that won’t happen…I guess Ill need to stick to the foam roller)
So far still feeling good:) Thanks!
Good point!
I am all about resting now so that you will be healthier for longer. If you’re messing something up then it’s just going to get worse–at least I think.
I do have an Achille’s tendom problem and that’s not a good thing to ignore. Those can get pretty severe (evidenced in my brother) if you don’t baby them. It’s annoying darn it.
The problem I have is figuring out if I need to rest or not…I feel like something bothers me almost every day so I would never get to run if I rested each time something felt off:) I also dealt with achilles issues a long time ago, and every once in a while I will notice that it gets tight. Very annoying!
There was a MindBodyGreen article about reasons why stress can be the biggest toxin in your body … so I think that some of it could be stress related?
As you know I do loads of hills – but they are killers, and I took to them gradually (by which I mean not gradually but I suffered). I have the one just over 2 miles away with the 400ft incline, which I thought was hard for a while but now barely touches my pace. Then I have the 1500ft hill I did last weekend .. and it is STILL tough even though I do better each time. Thing is it absolutely shreds my thighs, and I have been running it for nearly 2 years!
So when you do these things … you should expect your body to ache and need to recover. I regularly have minor aches and soreness, but nothing that has ever stopped me from going running, so I guess it is all low-level. Only a couple of times have I worried about injury, but a short lay-back period and I’m all good …
Wow I don’t know what my legs would say if I tried to get them up those hills!
I think your right about doing something new, feeling something and needing to recover. It can be challenging to know the difference between a normal soreness from doing something different or a pain that could lead to injury.
And I definitely think stress contributes…need to work on that:)
I am so glad to hear it is feeling better. I hate the words ischial tuberosity b/c yes, that’s where HHT hits hardest and I had it forever and a day. I will still be aware of it if I have to sit too long.
Great meeting you today!
It sounds like such a scary injury! I’m glad you finally recovered, although I know that feeling of old injuries reminding you that they were once there.
Luckily its continued to feel ok so I’m hoping it was just a little tweak and won’t turn into a problem.
Great meeting you too! Let me know if you ever plan to go again. I probably won’t be going every week but once in a while I might head over there just to do something different:)
I can totally, 110% relate! I went to the foot doctor about a month ago for what I was sure was a stress fracture. I was already planning on how I would need to choose a new marathon, and wondering what I would do during the time I couldn’t run… and generally freaking out. The doctor did some X-Rays, foot massages, etc. gave me some pads to put on the ball of my feet and sent me on my way. One day later I was back to feeling normal. It’s so hard not to freak out at the slightest twinge though because those really can be big things! Being a runner is hard 😀
It makes me feel so much better to know Im not the only one who freaks out like that!! My family thinks I’m crazy:)
I hear this one. I used to be the runner who ran through anything and everything. Stress fracture, PF, runners knee, etc…I have a very high pain tolerance so why not? Well then I never got better and was constantly in physical therapy which wasn’t fun, since I then had to start running all over again. Not fun to keep having to work my way back, and I never made real progress to see what I could do. Now I’m a little crazier about when I feel twinges and stuff hurts, but I think I’m a little better off in that I can usually gauge when I need to push through and when I need to stop and see someone. Time, practice and lots of experience with injury come in handy sometimes. I do think it’s better to be safe than sorry, though. Better to go to the dr for an actual diagnosis or not rather than push through something and make it worse!
I feel like I’ve been through enough injuries that I should be able to tell the difference, but its still something I struggle with. Im just happy that I see a chiro regularly who can get me in ASAP as soon as something starts to feel off!
Thanks for sharing this and not deleting it 🙂 I’m glad you’re feeling better Lisa! you got this!
Thanks! Sometimes you just have to write posts as if no one else will read them…its sure to keep you honest:)
I can definitely relate about being anxious! I actually went to a clinic at my running club on this very issue last night. I am going to work on my positive thinking. We talked a lot about reframing how we view things and envisioning what we want to happen instead of the worst thing that could happen. When something bad is happening, she suggested we say to ourselves…”Wouldn’t it be great if…” She said once you start focusing all your thoughts on that good thing, it seems to come to you.
That’s awesome! I’m gonna start telling myself “wouldn’t it be great if I could never get injured again”! Haha I wonder if that would work:)
I’m both. On the one extreme, I once ran on a complete break in my foot for six miles. Granted, I didn’t know it was broken at the time, but didn’t think anything of it until I got home and took my shoe off and there was a huge bruise and I couldn’t walk on it. And then on the the other end, now when any foot issue pops up (especially on my left foot, since that’s the one that broke), I automatically think it’s some type of fracture, but then the other side of me takes over again and I avoid the doctor at all costs. I can completely relate to the anxiety thing though. My family calls me the “stew pot.” haha they say that if I’m not worried about anything at the time, I think of something to worry about and add an “ingredient” to the pot ;). I’m just such an over analyzer and I know I’m like that and that it’s not good to be that way all the time, but gosh it’s so hard to control. I do think that mental stress can contribute to injury though. We overload our bodies physically and then add to that the stresses of every day life plus unnecessary stress we create for ourselves, it’s no wonder our bodies cry out for help sometimes! I hope your hamstring continues to feel better!
I love that nickname “the stew pot!” I will also find something to stress about even when there is no reason at all. I really need to work on relaxing…I agree that the stress plays a huge role in contributing to injuries!
I can totally relate to this. I’m a super anxious person and sometimes my runs get short because of it. Today my calf felt awful and I couldn’t fathom being hurt for next weekend.
While it can be annoying at times, the optimist in me tells me that being a little anxious and taking care of a twinge is always better than having an injury. However, doctors give me super high levels of anxiety so I’d be the last one to seek help – you’re super great for doing that at the first sign of a possible injury.
ummm…anxious runner party of two over here!! oh, u poor thing and coincidently i’m dealing with an eerily similar situation. i’m REALLY worried my injury over here is going to turn into one of those reaaaallly bad ones. so crossing my fingers and toes for the BOTH of us, that this isn’t the case and our anxiety is just jumping a few worst case scenarios ahead of us. sending positive running pain-free vibes and hopefully ur pain goes away!
and while the topic is not something we’d like to have to relate to, i’m glad u got a chuckle out of my artwork. take it day by day, u may be feeling totally fine soon!
Thanks and I hope you are feeling better quickly! Luckily I have been feeling ok but I’m still very nervous that its gonna start acting up again!