I think that any runner who has had an injury can relate to some of the common feelings associated with being injured. Often times we experience denial, anger, and eventually, acceptance. The past year (plus a few months) has been a roller coaster ride for me. In the beginning my injury was an annoyance. I thought it was minor and I caught it early and that a few weeks off was all I needed. I tried new shoes, improving nutrition, PT, dry needling, rolfing…
All of these things either helped for a little bit or were not the full answer. Here I am still dealing with this and trying once again to get back to running. So at this point I feel like some of my thoughts are a little different from what’s typical. Unfortunately this process has made me paranoid and anxious. Maybe by sharing some of my irrational thoughts it will help me to see just how ridiculous they are.
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What if I can never run again?
After being stuck in this cycle for what feels like forever, it’s hard to not consider the possibility of just not being able to run anymore. Then I remind myself that people have come back from much worse than this.
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I’m never going to be able to run as far/fast as I used to.
It’s so strange to think back on the mileage and paces I used to run. It will take a lot of work to get back to that. I keep reminding myself that those things are not important- I just want to be running. However, there is always that little voice in the back of my head that wants to get back to where I used to be.
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Am I even still a “runner”?
I’ve wrestled with this question a whole lot lately. I can remember what it feels like to be a runner, but that part of me feels so far away.
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Why me?
Going along with this are things like self-blame and the comparison trap. Why can other people run x miles and not do any core work etc. and not get hurt? There is no point to thinking about this but still, these thoughts creep into my head from time to time.
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What if I don’t even like running anymore?
This is a new one for me, and it feels REALLY weird to think about. During my time off from running, I would think about what it felt like to run the way I used to (~30-40 miles/week) and wonder if I will even like doing that anymore. I can remember how it felt to just run for hours and truly enjoy it. Now I wonder if I will be able to run a few miles without feeling anxious and worried. It may take a while to get back to being physically able to run longer distances, but the emotional/mental part of it is an entirely different challenge.
If you’ve been injured, did you ever question whether you would be able to run again?
Do you ever have irrational thoughts about running?
[Tweet “Do you ever have irrational thoughts about running or injuries? Check out today’s #fridayfive post! via @milebymilerun”]
I’m linking up with Lacey, Meranda, and Rachel for the Friday Five 2.0!
Yes! After having knee surgery, I came back after a couple months of rehab and ran for about a year and a half. Then boom! Cranky knee reared it’s ugly head and I spent most of the following year trying to come to terms with the idea that I might not ever run again. One day I decided to try running intervals. I started slow, seriously slow: 30 seconds run to 20 seconds walk. Eight months later, I’m able to run almost 5 miles (still using intervals) and I’m hoping to run a 5K in Nov!! Hang in there!
Sometimes the recovery can be so much slower than we would like! I’m so glad to hear you have made progress from your intervals to preparing to run a 5k!
Yes to all of this – I can definitely relate!! I struggled with all of these questions last year as well. It took me a few months to feel more comfortable with running after coming back from my injuries. Every little pain made me nervous!
I also came to the realization that I was okay if I never got my speed back because at this point I’m just happy I can run!
Yep, I feel like Im no longer concerned about speed but knowing myself I will always want to improve! So that could be hard to deal with.
It’s so hard to deal with a long term break from running. I think what you’re doing is just trying to reframe how you see yourself. You’re still a runner and I have no doubt you’ll be back on the road once you finally heal. But I bet you’ll approach those miles much differently than you did in the past, incorporating a lot of that cross training you’ve been doing. Hang in there, Lisa!
Yep, it seems injuries often make us approach our running differently when we get back out there.
I had so many of the same thoughts when I had a stress fracture a few years back. I was out for 3 months and I had just gotten my MRTT up and running. I felt like some kind of fraud everyday. It was tough going for a while.
It’s so strange to be a runner who doesn’t run! And now I’m catch myself saying “I like to run but…” like I always have to defend myself as a runner but also share that Im not really a runner right now.
These are legit thoughts for sure! I know after my injury I am not as fast as I use to be but at least I’m able to run so i’ll take it! Thanks for linking up!
Exactly! I would much rather run slow than not at all.
I’m with ya! Although, I know I will run again (hopefully very soon), and I know I will enjoy every step no matter the distance or speed. I went through the same “why me?” thing as I lay there on my hospital be, with that scary wound vac hooked up to my new (and permanent) suture. There are so many others who train harder and run many more miles and don’t respect recovery days…and, yet, it was ME it happened to. I know my running will probably be slower than before (at least the first few months), and I’m OK with that…I have nothing to prove and no lofty goals to chase. I’ll just be grateful to be out there doing what I love 😉 Stay strong! We should stage a virtual run together when the both us us are able to run 😉
I know what you mean about wondering why it happened to you…even now looking back on what led up to my initial injury I just don’t see what I did wrong! There was a time when I overtrained a few years ago but for the past 2-3 years I’ve been good about following “the rules”. A post-injury virtual run sounds great!
Yes, during my treatment on my tendon I didn’t know if I would be able to run again. I knew I would be able to walk, swim, cycle and do weights + yoga so I just focused on that (and prayed running would come back into my life, too).
Honestly I don’t think I will be able to accept not running easily. I could see myself continuing to try for years until I can figure out a way to get back to it! But then again, it’s exhausting to fight this day after day. I know that sounds dramatic, but it takes alot of mental energy!
I can relate to the irrational thoughts, Lisa. Especially being hyper aware of every little niggle and worrying that i’ts an injury. One thing that comforts me when I’m out of the running game for a little while is something one of our coaches used to say: “Running will always be there.” Meaning, it isn’t going anywhere. Whether it’s 2 weeks or 2 years, running will still be there for us when we are able to. As far as wondering if you will ever run for hours and hours… I’m like you, I never do that anymore and I don’t know if I want to! I would go on like 2-3 hour runs every weekend and that just does not sound like much fun to me anymore! Will it someday? Probably. Whenever I find myself saying “I’ll never do X again”, I almost always end up doing X again at some point. 🙂
I like the thought of “running will always be there”but its so hard to keep in perspective when you want to run now! I mean at this point it’s been going on for so long that there’s no point in rushing the recovery. I just wish I could jump ahead to being back to running!
OH GIRL. While my injuries were not as long as yours has been, I TOTALLY FEEL YOU. And I will say… some of those fears have come true. I’m not fast and I don’t feel the same drive like I used to.
But that is OK. Running still gives me so much, and if it wasn’t running? It would be something else.
You know, I would have thought by now I may have found something else to “replace” running. But I haven’t. Thats probably why I keep fighting and haven’t given up on this yet. As frustrating as it is I just can’t accept not running.
Your first one crosses my mind every single time I get injured. I wonder if that’s all she wrote. The prospect of never running again is quite disturbing, although I’m sure there are ways of dealing with it just fine.
I hope if it comes to that I can find something that I enjoy as much as running. It would be a really big void to fill.
I’ve had all of these thoughts. I’ve adjusted to what I know my body can do, and it honestly took the pressure off. I’m enjoying doing 10ks so much more than I was training for half marathons.
It always helps when you can accept when you are and find something you enjoy that also keeps you injury free!
Yep, I’ve had all of these thoughts lately! Mostly the one about the getting back to the paces I used to run. I feel like I’m climbing out the basement right now in terms of my paces. But I guess the plus side of that it is I will eventually see some improvement and I will get faster? Like starting over again, it’s a good feeling to get faster. But right now YES, I am happy to just be running again and appreciate it for what it’s worth. I hope you get back to where you want to be too!!
I think thats one of the good things about starting over, you can always improve and even though you may not get back to where you were before you can still see improvements.
As just an aging runner, I think about number one a lot! I know some day, if I’m on this planet long enough, I will not be able to run. It is a scary thought — but I also think at some point (age) I won’t enjoy it and will accept the inevitable. That being said, I believe you have many years of running ahead of you. You’ve handled your injury with such grace and patience!
That’s so nice of you to say! I do hope I have many more years of running ahead of me, but something definitely needs to change. I can’t go on dealing with injuries moving forward!
I can relate to this so much! I definitely have asked myself that question so many times before and it’s really hard to actually think about. And I do have irrational thoughts about running swell, I think thats pretty normal though amongst many runners (injured or not!)
I can’t even imagine what this has been like for you! I remember when it first started when we met for lunch that day, not realizing how long it would last. ugh. I really do hope it is on the mend now for good.
When I think back to how long ago this all started its just crazy! I remember thinking that I caught it early and would get over it quickly. I guess thats not always how it works!
I think irrational thoughts during an injury are totally normal. I’ve considered #2 and #5 before after various circumstances. But maybe it’ll just be different without some of the same expectations as before. When I’m not in training, I run way less and turn my attention to other things. Running still has a place (albeit, different) but it’s not everything.
Yes, I do think if you can just focus on enjoying the process of running it takes off some of the pressure related to pace, distance, etc.
All these thoughts are totally normal… I have irrational thoughts about running all the time, even though I’ve been at it for a few years now. They always sneak in somehow… BUT, YOU are still a runner and I am so glad you’re back at it 🙂
Thank you, you are so right that these kinds of thoughts are pretty common.