I have another guest post to share with you all today, as I am back from the beach but now spending time with Rob’s family who is visiting from Ohio/Arkansas! Suzy was kind enough to agree to write a post, and I told her to write about whatever she wanted (you know, within reason…) Suzy is one of the most open and honest bloggers that I have “met”, and her posts always get me thinking. While some of her posts may be deep, they are always written with a bit of humor that keeps things entertaining. I’ll stop there and let Suzy do the rest of the talking…
Lisa’s blog was one of the first blogs I ever read and so I was excited when she asked me to write a guest post for her! I’ve got a bit of a potty mouth and I talk way too much about poo but for some reason Lisa puts up with me.
I’ve also got an anxiety disorder. It seems like every other person has been diagnosed with some sort of mental health issue and so I find that when I talk about my own anxiety struggles, I end up connecting with a lot of people who are relieved to know that they’re not alone.
Running has been my number one tool that I use for anxiety management. But when stress levels demand more than what running can help with, I have in different times of my life turned to medication, psychotherapy, journaling, listening to and playing music, and reading books. To keep it real and honest, I’ve also done destructive things in a desperate attempt to distract myself and numb the pain because anxiety hurts and there is only so much a person can take before we go a little loco.
I’ve written a lot about my anxiety story which you can find here, but I want to give Lisa something fresh today, so I’ll let you in a little on my world right now as I deal with all my lifey life stress. Up until a month ago, I was logging anywhere from 80-100 miles per week. I was training for the Seattle Rock n Roll marathon, hoping to finally get my sub-3 hour PR but I wasn’t running that much for that reason; I was running that much because I had shitloads of anxiety.
I’d get up early and run. I’d run at night. I’d run on the treadmill during my toddler’s nap time and I’d push him in the running stroller when he was awake. When the rest of my life fell apart, then by my own strength and will I’d control this part. I’d run. And run. And run.
I ended up with a 3:06 and change in Seattle which you know, is great.
Above everything else I am grateful for my ability to run, mostly out of fear that the entitlement gods may give me the what-for in the whatnot if I ever take running for granted, but also because I really am grateful that I can run. But right after the marathon, when our blended family of 8 (only 7 of us this time though) went on our Mexican vacation, I ended up putting my back out something fierce and it was only then, when I stood gripping the trunk of a palm tree, writhing in pain, that I realized that the stresses in my life cost a lot more than what my mileage could pay for.
So when this happens, what are we supposed to do about it? Well, we call for help. Help can be anything from medication, therapy, a good friend, a new book, some new music, journaling, yoga, meditation, complete rest, a massage. However, the options are endless for the open-minded yet extremely limited for us runner folk.
It actually takes more self discipline for me to run less than it does for most people to run more. But I had to make the decision to find new ways to cope with stress other than running. And running. And running. So far, it hasn’t been easy, but nothing rewarding is ever easy, is it?
Have any of you guys ever dealt with anxiety? Or what about a compulsion of some sort, like numbers on a scale, or calories, or miles? How did you get free from it? If you feel paralyzed, then feel free to email me, or comment on my blog, or connect with me on Facebook or Instagram and I will gladly help you feel not so alone. BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Okay, so for all you smarty pants out there, what should I do when it’s like, 4 o’clock in the afternoon and I’ve already run 10 miles in the morning, but I feel like my nerves are buzzing? What do you do to get your shit together? What can I do? HELP ME.
Well, totally relate. And now that the blog stuff has sort of taken the place of what running was, I know it’s probably time I revisit those coping mechanisms. I definitely have those moments when I realize I need a “real” way to deal rather than just obsessing over one thing.
I think some of us are just wired a certain way where if we find something that works for us then we think more is better. Reading fiction is helping me SO MUCH with dealing with the extra stress. I’ve always loved reading but I’d often stick to non fiction, but having a story line helps me take a break from “real” life.
Funny because I know that works for me too! Sometimes it’s crazy the amount of discipline it takes to do something like watch a movie or read a book versus work myself like an idiot lol 🙂
It’s so interesting how we all find ways to cope with stress and anxiety, somehow.
Two of my favorite bloggers and people! Not being able to run for 5 months forced me to come up with other coping mechanisms. Other than sobbing. But I’ve actually never gotten to the point of using running for emotional relief as specific therapy. As in, I don’t tend to run when I’m mad. Sometimes I do, but by and large, I just kind of shut down when that happens!
That’s exactly what happens to Andrew, too. He runs best when he’s happy and peaceful. If I waited for that then I’d never get out the door! HA.
I also don’t run as a response to my emotions (usually) but I find that if I am running regularly it just helps to keep me feeling balanced. When I’m not running I just feel more irritable overall and don’t response as well to daily stressors.
Hi Suzy!!! I love how honest you are in sharing your story. I don’t have anxiety, but I certainly have moments where I feel overwhelmed with anxiety about the world or life. For years I used running also to cope with stress and would always push the pace hard, which wasn’t good for my body. There’s something about the mind- body connection of running that makes us use it to fope with something in our lives, so thank you as always for being so open about that aspect of running.
I totally agree-running can definitely help us to cope, as long as we don’t go overboard with it.
Well, ya. I mean it’s a way of converting pain on the inside (something we can’t see) to pain on the outside (something much more tangible). A control thing like, I’ll put this THERE. Except I’ve been doing that for years feeling all smug about how I’m in so much “control” of my emotions and then all of a sudden I notice that I lost control of my body (put my back out). OOOOOHH DEEP LIFE LESSONS. 😉
Wow! that was amazing! thank you Suzy for sharing that ! I started running to keep depression and anxiety manageable after my divorce, but my body never let me run longer than 6 miles.
Have you read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson… she suffers from depression and anxiety, and reading her struggles through a humor lenses, helped me cope with my own anxiety. and surprisingly, also reading Harry Potter helped with the depression.
I know it’s no help, but I also used to watch a lot of TV when I was struggling to hold myself together… that was how I ended up watch all of Doctor Who in two months!
Divorce has an amazing ability to turn a lot of people into runners, eh? Ha! I guess that’s one good thing about it.
No, I haven’t heard of that book but you can bet it’s on my next to read list! Thanks for the suggestion Ana!!!
I have some anxiety, not formally diagnosed but suggested. Running really helps keep me stressfree. I’m pretty good at trying to keep thing balanced and never find myself running too much because unfortunately I’ve got so much going on that my time is limited. It’s really important to have many different ways to cope with things!
It’s definitely better to have a few different ways to cope with stress, especially since being able to run isn’t always a guarantee.
Yeah, I was in this endless cycle of getting busier and busier so then I’d run more and more to cope. Fast track to burn out city!!!
I run because of my anxiety! And I get really bummed out when it doesn’t do the trick. Sometimes if I’m buzzing later in the day, I’ll got for a walk. And if that doesn’t help, I’ll self-medicate with some wine. I know it’s bad…
I think we all have good ways to cope and some not-so-good ways. It’s especially challenging when an injury prevents you from running- its like a vicious cycle where the not running leads to more anxiety.